One thing I love about the me from more than half a decade ago is I started this blog, and I’m forever thankful for it.
It’s crazy seeing my old work, and my own train of thought… How far I’ve come mentally and emotionally, I’ve built myself up over the years and these writings are an echo of what was at the forefront of my mind, now buried, like a soul that’s passed or a diary left untouched for many years, but not forgotten.
I graduated from university back in 2014 with an undesired outlook being thrown into the deep end of what we call ‘life’. I felt like bambi on ice, and still do, except now I feel like I’m trying to sleep in a sandal. Just hovering over possibilities, I know what needs to be done, it’s just knowing how to do it. It’s like attempting to hug the whole world in a tight squeeze trying to clamp my hands together; and even though I can’t see the other end, the light still shines!
Despite this lossless wonder, I’ve been focusing on my photography, attempting to apply photography across aspects of my life; work, family, friends, trips, and then the post processing part in any spare time I have… It takes time and a lot of dedication as I’ve started to realised over the last two years. You begin to feel yourself divided between ‘ambition’ and ‘laziness’ when you say to yourself “ah, I’ll do it tomorrow…” Then tomorrow becomes three months, then a day, then a minute, and then a year. And in that moment, I divide myself between those who do it for others, and those who do it for themselves. I’d say I fall into the latter, I don’t like charging, I twitch and hide under a rock when money comes into it, and I’d rather not do it at all. I don’t call myself a photographer, nor a professional one at that, I just like taking photos and sharing them, whether anyone takes the time out to view them is beyond my control, and it’s a least of my worries, but I’m forever grateful for the ones that do, and are even complimentary in doing so!
That’s something else I have trouble with, is dealing with compliments… I’ve still got far more to learn, I think it’s my way of saying “Ha, you haven’t seen nothing yet!” Not that I would, and not that I think that either, but I’m purely trying to understand why we do think so little of ourselves. Maybe it is ’cause we know we can be better, and what we’ve achieved yet isn’t actually the end, it’s purely the process and progression of where we’re going.
Anyway, it’s nice being back. My pen hasn’t dried out just yet so I will be back!
As always. Good morning, good afternoon and goodnight wherever you might be reading this from. Peace, love and light!