Cause & Effect
The best often die by their own hand
just to get away,
and those left behind
can never quite understand
would ever want to
By Charles Bukowski
Recently lost someone dear to me, in probably the worst way, but sometimes it can only be seen for the better. I feel this poem aids in closure, understanding, finding the balance between ‘why’ & ‘it’s okay’… I’m always reminded of my mothers upbringing and how it’s a harsh realisation that no matter how bad situations may be, someone is facing a far worse experience. It’s harder knowing how he was as a person, his true character, which was destroyed, along with my family, by years of alcohol abuse, and to my mum, bought years of tears and ”What’s the use?” – I can honestly say, my childhood years has played a major role in how I am today. Realising that you are on your own, no matter who or how many people you are surrounded by. Someone who loves me, once told me.. ”Remember, you’re on your own.” This plays on my mind, the person that loves me, would say such a thing to a fragile state of mind… but then I realise, it’s the best thing anyone has ever said to me. So true, so raw, it hurts and aches every ounce of my self esteem and destroys every ounce of belief I have in humanity today. I then realise how dependent some are on others… which then comes in to mind… being there for someone. So where is the line drawn between ”you’re on your own” and ”someone being there for you” ?
Here’s a link to a short time based video montage I had to create for a film production Project at Uni.
Something that my mother recites to me when she lost her father at the age of 9:
She said, ”When I lost my dad who was a good man, through the act of God, my cousin came to me and said ”Cousin, don’t be so down, you still have your mother, why don’t you save some of those tears?”